It really is strange how certain things in life can take you to different places. How surprising life can be. How little do we know about what tomorrow might bring.
It's been quite the ride for me these past few months. Last May we got pregnant for the third time. In mid August, at 11.5 weeks, I miscarried. Now we're pregnant again, though this time it's a different kind of pregnancy. When I went to see my Dr. for the first appointment this time around, on the way out of the office I had told him I've been experiencing something I've never experienced before with my previous pregnancies - over eating with no control! He sent me to take the glucose test. I failed. I was 6 weeks pregnant with diabetes.
The theory I choose to believe in says, that I might have gotten pregnant a little too soon after the miscarriage, and the stress of the pregnancy broke out as diabetes. The other option is, that I'm simply diabetic. But we'll know better only in the future.
I'm now 14 weeks pregnant on a very strict diet, counting carbs constantly, testing (poking) my blood sugar level 4 times a day, try to be as active as I can, and inject insulin every night before I go to bed. My fasting blood sugar level (when I wake up in the morning) is bad and cannot be controlled by anything but insulin.
It's been a big overwhelming turn for me. From dismissing my self almost completely, taking care of everybody else around me, I now have to make time for my self and take care of my self too, to make sure I do the best possible for this little life in me.
I try to stay positive, it's very important for the blood sugar level, and every day I get through one more good appointment or one more good test, for me it's one more day with one more smile.
I'm starting to be able to think about what I'm going through as pregnancy with diabetes, and not diabetes with pregnancy. I know that whatever happens, it'll be just fine - I have my most amazing man by my side and my precious daughters who keep me strong and happy!
5 comments:
First off let me say congrats to you!! I didn't know you were pregnant again. What a challange to go through it with diabetes. Sounds like you have a super attitude though and such a great support system.
I'm so glad to have met you guys, and excited that I can share this fantastic third baby journey with you.
You have been so brave with the challenges that have come your way in recent months, and I wanted to let you know that we are on board for your ride too honey and are going to be there throughout! Whatever we can do to help, whenever you need us, you know where we are.
S xxx
You have always been such a source of inspiration, such a strong, kind, fiercely loyal woman with solid family values -- a real treasure! It is tough to know you are going through this now, and I am here for you and pray for your health and your baby's often. Can't wait to meet the babe, him or her will be here before you know it!!!!
Hey girlie
I am SOOOOO happy for you - and jealous too! Ha ha. The other day I couldn't stop looking at your face...you had such an amazing, beautiful and wonderful glow about you ... now I know why! Take good care of yourself. If you ever need anything, I'm just over the bridge!
Hello Sivan
I'm an older Israeli living in New Zealand, whose family has left home. My blog is called The Almond Tree Flowers, and because you also wrote about almond trees, I happened upon your blog last week. Today, popped in to have a look at what you were up to and found that you had just discovered you had diabetes.
You have my sympathy... I find your comment interesting that it forces you to turn around and live your life in a different way.
I'm impressed with your attitude and your courage, and wish you and your family and the baba to be born all the best.
Suzannah
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